When you're tired, and stressed out, and have a million things on your plate.
When you have major life changes taking place.
When you're pregnant, and hormonal, and running on a minimal amount of sleep as it is.
When you're getting even less of that sleep than usual fretting, contemplating, worrying yourself sick (literally) about all the things going on in your life and what the possible outcomes of each situation might be.
When you find yourself crying in the middle of the night, unsure if it's just your hormones, or if it's really worth the tears.
When you find yourself feeling like no one knows what you're going through, and you feel tired of constantly trying to hold it together.
Then you stop, and realize.
I'm not the only one that this is affecting. I do not live alone. My spouse is affected. My child is affected. Everyone I come in contact with while in the center of my whirlwind of despair and negativity is affected.
And they did not choose this. I have thrust this upon others - this snappy, gloomy, emotional mess that is me right now, unbeknownst to them all.
I am the only one who can choose how this is affecting me.
I am the only one who can choose the actions and behaviors I use with others.
So I have to make a choice. I have to let all the feelings of anxiety and despair and hurt flood out of me, and replace them with love and peace and contentment.
This is where the healing begins.
This is where the healing starts.
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark.
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All content and images are © Melinda Collazo 2011-2016.
Oh, I've been there. The middle of the night tears, partly wanting to hide, partly wanting to wake your husband for comfortable. It's a hard place to be. For me, I had to realize, no one was going to make things better for me, except me. My husband tried and I needed his support but when push came to shove, I had to make the decision to heal. It's not an easy one and neither is the healing but it's the right one. I hope you find your peace and keep in mind it's a process and it takes time. Sending hugs and if you ever need an ear I'm not too far.
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