2013 started off pretty awesome for us. Little Guy was able to transfer into an awesome school, we found out we were expecting (!), and we were all in a great place mentally and emotionally.
Mid-year everything took a turn for the worse, and feeling betrayed and hurt, I spent the summer in a dark and lonely place.
As my pregnancy progressed, I remembered how much I dislike pregnancy. It just seems to be so hard on me for some reason, but we were overjoyed to welcome our new baby boy to the world and we love getting to know him and watching his relationship with his big brother blossom into something truly beautiful.
As this year comes to an end, I look back and realize that once you see, you can never unsee.
Those closest to you can hurt you and your loved ones and make no apologies.
Forgiveness is hard - it really is.
And I'm working at it everyday.
Seventy times seven.
In 2014, I'm going to let go.
Let go of the emotional ties to the people who aren't good for me.
Let go of the stuff we've accumulated, but don't need.
Let go of the need to have things "just so."
Let go of the anxiety I have about bringing the baby out.
Let go of fear.
Let go of grudges.
And let go of this darn baby weight!
And I'm going to reach out.
Reach out for a healthier me.
Reach out to positive relationships.
Reach out for a stronger spiritual relationship.
Reach out to things beyond my comfort zone.
Tonight, there will be no parties - we probably won't even make it until midnight. I'll be at home, just snuggling with my boys. My beautiful boys. My love for them is so strong it hurts. They are my world, and I can't wait to spend another year with them.
*Are you letting go of anything in 2014?
Melinda, I think, I may take a page out of your book and do the same - let go of things/people that aren't good for me and reach for good things!!! Happy New Year and all the best to you and yours!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Happy New Year to you too! :)
DeleteThis post really speaks to me. I need to let go as well. I'm also struggling with forgiving especially because like you, there were no apologizes and sometimes I wonder if they even know how much they hurt us. In my heart I know it's for the best but letting go is hard.
ReplyDeleteYour list of reaching out for, is very similar to mine. Most importantly I think I need to just embrace me for me. In the past, I've spent too much time trying to accommodate others and it takes a toll on me.
Oh and your boys are adorable!
I think in those instances, forgiveness is more for you than for them. To help you let go and move past the hurt. You just have to decide to let it go (and I'm working on that) but yes, it's definitely hard!
DeleteSince we both had a baby this last year, I'm letting go of a lot of the same things. Sometimes I can barely believe I'm back to my old self! (It's great!)
ReplyDeleteAlso, I really need to say that that picture of your boys is priceless!!
Congratulations on your little one! Isn't it great? The sleepless nights and the screaming car rides all fade away when you see your little one's chubby cheeks and smell their sweet little baby smell! :)
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